Tuesday 27 January 2009

情感系列之 - 华人新年

新年到了。我指的是华人新年。游子们纷纷返回家园,等着与家人团圆。这是唯一一个节日会让多数人愿意放下一切与家人团聚的日子。一大群人围在院子里闲话家常,嘻嘻哈哈,不时开点啤酒汽水喝,再配上那瓜子肉干的。。。多么美好!鞭炮声、欢笑声不绝于耳。年三十晚,一大桌绝对吃不完的美味佳肴。吃完了倒数等待年初一的来临。年初一一起身便去拜年,亲戚,朋友,好朋友。。。大家能够聚一聚,那是多么美好的啊!

梦醒了!原来以上的一切皆是梦!今年,我没法回家,老外地方才不管你什么华人新年的。课照上,功课照给。真的好想翘课飞回马来西亚过年,但我知道那是不可能的。在这里,没有新年歌曲,没有新年装饰。简单一句,没有新年气氛。今年的新年,实在没什么好说的,除了年三十前几天忙着去买些菜,年三十晚吃了顿丰富点的晚餐。就这样!今年华人新年就是这样了。没有红包,没有肉干,没有瓜子,什么都没有。深深的体会到“独在异乡为异客,每逢佳节倍思亲”。

老妈子买了件红色的新年T-shirt和一片贺岁专辑寄给我。本以为这会解了思乡之苦,没想到听着新年歌曲,穿这那件衣服,竟让人觉得更加伤感。听着新年歌,我好像一点也不开心。一个人穿这那件衣服在房间里独自听着新年歌曲,原来是这么哀伤的。好想哭!结果真的哭了。每天都打电话回家,之前不会这样的。好孤独,真的好孤独!原本就已经被孤独所折磨,现在的伤感。。。加倍了。好想回家,不惜任何代价。

原来新年所带来的快乐,不是红包里花花绿绿的钞票,也不是满桌子的山珍海味,更不会是噼里啪啦的鞭炮。真正的快乐,源自于跟家人的团圆,跟至亲的相聚及跟要好的好朋友在一起。新年的意义,就在于此。希望有幸可以和家人朋友一起欢庆佳节的人能好好珍惜这份难得的缘。快乐,可以很简单,也可以很遥远。由衷盼望大家能惜福。





*不要被我的emo影响了。祝大家新年快乐,身体健康!

Wednesday 21 January 2009

即将回来

荒废了好久的部落格。。。课程作业就要交上了,小胖子将挣脱束缚!即将推出的,是小胖子的心灵写照-感情系列,回忆系列,情感系列,等等。。。我要回来了!

Sunday 4 January 2009

my new appearance

happy new year! 2009 is arriving. i feel like it comes/arrives too fast and unconsciously. in fact, i am here (Newcastle, UK) for more than 3 months already. time passed very fast without been aware.

what the hell i am going to tell about my appearance? new some more? i am a very ordinary guy, nothing special, not handsome, a bit ugly and fat! most of my friend know how i look like, just like the characteristics that i mentioned. but... i decided that since i come to UK and not much people really know me very deeply, i will change my appearance completely (i think is completely).

for your information, i never cut my hair since 14/9/2008 (2 days before my departure from M'sia). so, i know my math is not that good, but after counting and calculating, there is more than 3 months i didn't go to barber shop to maintain my 'bird nest'. erm... i admit that my hair is quite long (i never kept my hair uncut for more than 3 weeks), but after i look at the mirror, it is actually not that long. i just able to make a small tie (trust me, very small and short 1). i don't have 'ribbon', so i never tie it when i go out. long hair, a new experience for me.

besides, ... most of my friend know that i like beard very much. when i was in secondary school, one of my hobby is to play people's beard (weired right?), although sometime some people do not have it, i will still touch their chin (some1's chin a bit 'rough', thats make me feel better. by the way, do not think that i am psycho! i am absolutely fine, i just like beard). after become 'older and older', i have my own beard. haha! but need to be shaved everytime when it became long
(school rules and parents rules). about 2 monts ago (november), i stopped shaving my beard, as well as moustache. i want o keep it long until like goatee. haha! after 2 months, it really grows longer and longer. haha! the only problem is that it will grow untidily and i need to find a way to trim them like people trimming the hedge. thats a bit annoying, but still acceptable.

haha! thats new px, quite different. any1 able to imagine how i look like now? is very close to vagrant. haha! but i comb/wash my hair everyday and 'trim' my beard also. thats the difference. haha! i look 'mature' (ok! fine! OLD) enough without all those, now... more mature loh! holding more great charm of a MAN. haha! my mum don't like them. she asked me to shave my beard and cut my hair because she said girls will afraid when they see me and cannot get girlfriend. haiz... before my new appearance, i also din't have any girlfriend ok? girls also rejected me for many many times. so, i pretty sure that her point is not correct. Jay Chou said we must listen to our mum (听妈妈的话), but this time i support lee hom because he encourage us to change ourself (改变自己). hahaha! if my volition strong enough, i will maintain this image until... i don't know, maybe until the moment when there is a girl who ask me to destroy such appearance. haha! i don't think this will happen, thus... (^o^)

Thursday 1 January 2009

退步

越来越明显了!越来越容易感觉得到了。越来越惨!越来越不行了!

什么事情?不卖关子,我发现我的华文越来越差了。以往我对我的华文造诣还颇有自信,至少写作时不必担心写不出什么句子。脑海里也常常会有很所谓优美的措辞浮出。写出来的文章,虽然不是那么高水平,但起码自己看了会觉得尚且不错。悲哀的是,此景不再。

现在的我,常常坐在电脑前,想在部落格写些自己看了觉得还过得去的文章,却常常,不,是每次都遇到瓶颈。我发现我以往的写作风格不见了!不仅如此,水平还不停的往后退。常常想不到用什么措词和句子来表达我想说的。那种感觉,让我觉得好惊慌失措,亦让我觉得很无助失落。想表达我的想法,却只能用幼儿园程度的华文,真的让人感到受挫与灰心。偶尔有了些感触,就能写出自己觉得有点水准的文章。但是,感触不是常常有的,偶尔才会有的。那么多数的时间,我该怎么办?为什么会退步得这么多?改用英文吗?很不甘心,况且我的英文也不好。

现在坐在电脑前的我,也是憋着一股闷气再写着这篇文章的。曾经拥有过的,却在不知不觉中随着时间的流逝而渐渐消失,那是多么悲哀的!更悲哀的,是发现了它逐渐的流失,却只能不知所措的看着它离我远去,什么也做不了。自己的风格失去了,写作,还有什么意思呢?